Me and Buenos Aires

Here are ten things I have actually felt, at various times, about the idea of going to Buenos Aires. [Update: in roughly chronological order, incidentally. Don't miss a (so far) quite interesting comments thread below. Also, Cherie replies here.]

1. I've read so many descriptions, from people who go there or live there. The people who adore it make it sound like a society with no place for me and no place for my values. I don't feel a pull, and I'm not going to pretend I do.

2. A twelve-hour flight at £500 to somewhere that's no cleaner than here and not even particularly sunny, to dance with other tourists? (Like, the locals are going to look at me, other than to measure my arse and my purse. I don't think so.) Huh?

3. Tango just isn't that important in my life. If I'm going to risk the electronic strip-search at Heathrow and all the other mindless security theatre, and put up with the awfulness of a flight that long, plus use up two weeks' holiday, I'd rather be going over to Seattle to see people I deeply care about and who have a genuine place in their hearts for me.

4. For a dancing holiday, I can take a train to somewhere in Europe where they dance well, and travel in comfort.

5. I understand why my teacher goes, she has many friends there, old and new, and tango is a much bigger thing in her life.

6. I also understand why you'd want to go there to study tango. It's necessary if you want to be a pro, the real thing, and have some credibility. You need to go there for an extended period, or at least repeatedly. And if you're that deeply into it, of course it would be fun too. I don't want to be a pro. Why would I want that?

7. Tango is something I do to enhance my life here, as it actually is. It also enhances my life when I go to places on business or on holiday. If it's not too far or too much trouble, or I know I'll see people I like and the dancing will be good, I even go to places specifically to dance tango. It's not something I do because I'm fascinated by or in love with a culture that I have virtually nothing in common with and feel no true wish to participate in. Sure, I like the music. I like Puccini too, but I don't want to buy his car. I think the Argentinians have some really top-notch ideas about how to organise an evening of social dancing, and how to go about the dance itself. All of them are widely publicised. But since when exactly has nicking and adapting good ideas been a problem for the English? Do you think tea grows in Yorkshire? Or that the Chinese drink it with milk? What I'm saying here is that I don't feel the pull, and if I'm not feeling the pull, it's not my time to go.

8. The other thing that's always bothered me is the way people go there, then come back and promptly vanish. I don't think it's just because they come back and feel totally let down. After all, the higher quality of dance there can hardly have come as a surprise to them. You can see it on video. And if it were just that, considering how many people do go, wouldn't they try to do positive things about the dancing here, rather than just give up? And why not do that in the first place? It seems to me that going to Buenos Aires is something people do when they're already bored with dancing tango and they want a reason to stop.  I know myself well enough to know that finding reasons to stop doing something that's good for me spiritually and physically, is something I should avoid.

9. Speaking of which, I am also Bloody Awkward, and the sort of person who feels that something there is so much social expectation you should do is probably poorly justified, like taking on giant lifelong debts to buy overpriced depreciating assets. I'm not saying it's rational, but I kind of want to keep my tango in its place.

10. I have the impression that people go there far too early; very often they say so afterwards. It doesn't make much sense to me to go there for the purpose of taking lessons. There are excellent, experienced, professional teachers within easy reach right here. Nor does it make sense to me to go there in order to say I've been, despite the obvious temptation; I've had bad experiences buying labels and it would feel like selling one. The point of Buenos Aires tango, as I see it, is the social dancing. It does make sense to me to go there in order to just dance, taking the pre-milonga lessons for orientation. But I'd rather treat the whole thing with a bit more respect, not as a gig put on for my benefit as a tourist; and, if I go there at all, go there prepared in such a way that I can have a satisfying social experience on my own terms, and not feel like a burden on other people's politeness, or as though I'm being patronised. I don't feel that I had that a year ago. I do feel that I might be about there next winter, maybe.


At the moment, I'm not against it. I'll probably do it at some point, and maybe even alone. I might go there with the right companions, or to visit specific people. If there was an extra reason to go there, like a rugby match - say England v Argentina away, or Lions v Argentina away - that would be a lot of fun, and I could combine it. I could go to the match and go for a dance. With the right companions, that would be delightful.