First Friday

There is a bunch of modern-jivers who also do tango. On the first Friday of the month they take over the downstairs room at Negracha (which has good DJing and quality 'nuevo' music these days) with a mutual pledge to make all comers welcome. Someone brings cake. You'll find the cake - and a welcoming committee of some combination of Ken, Chris, David and friends - at the table near the door.

They have a misspelled facebook group called Let's Go to Nagracha's. But you don't have to be on Facething to get cake or welcome. However, if you are, I think there might be a little discount or something if you say the right thing at the door. I'm not sure about that.

I went this Friday. The people are lovely, and it's good to get out of my comfort zone dancewise. I'd forgotten just how much more physically demanding that style of dancing is; I slept like a log.

Some other milongas have their own Facebook groups - it's not a bad idea, but I think the welcoming committee is more important.

Edit: I missed my own point. I should have added - I don't care for this style of music, which mostly doesn't make me want to dance, although as long as it's good quality stuff I can always find something to like and express if I'm dancing with someone who likes it. Some of it's quite beautiful. I particularly don't like that it forces me to shout, and stops me from hearing, if I want to sit down and chat to a few friends - which is an important part of the whole thing for me. I'm not, when it comes down to it, interested at all in the dramatic style of dance that makes sense with this music, although again it can be fun from time to time if it's led well. It is fun, but it's not like dancing tango. (I still love you, Ghost and DavidBailey. Anyway, both of you can dance tango.)

What I'm saying is, I really wish there was a welcoming committee for the real thing, and I would like some of my other commenters to think a bit about how that might be done.

I don't wish this for myself, as nothing ever stopped me going to milongas alone as a beginner and getting - with few exceptions - a dance or two to start me off. Standing at the edge of the dance floor, smiling around, and fidgeting in time with the music worked for me, roughly 100% of the time. Taking the class, or sitting down and chatting in a friendly way to the other women, also both worked well. But for me, a large part of the point of the activity was to overcome shyness. That was essentially what I considered myself there to do. I am also very bloody-minded, and I utterly refused to be defeated by the fuckwit at my first milonga who chose to lecture me until I wept. On the other hand, I shall never forget the other dancer who showed me what a vals should feel like, made me think that I could dance nicely, danced the whole tanda with ease and grace and a smile on his face, and said "step over" when I didn't know what a foot in the way meant and I looked at him with hedgehog eyes ¿¿like this??.

But it doesn't seem quite right to me that such a high level of persistence, determination, and luck should be a prerequisite to learning to dance tango. Call me a Tango Socialist. But people are not going to get this from their teachers, and I'm not sure organisers can offer it directly. Welcoming new people is a job to be shared among the older siblings, and David, Chris, and Ken are doing a fine thing.