Guest Post: Is that your foot?

The following is a guest post from my occasional practice partner Ghost, with interjections from me.
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"Is that *your* foot"?
"No."

I was near the end of a beautiful tanda with MsH. I was happy and content, in that nice, warm, zenlike tango place. And approaching a corner. Knowing that can equal disaster in London, I looked around and lo and behold the guy behind me was on a collision course. My options were rather limited to say the least; pretty much, get hit or change lanes. I opted for changing lanes.

Unfortunately the guy in front of me decided he didn’t want to be impaled by the bozo behind me either and he also changed lanes boxing me in. Ok it’s not the end of the world, yet. I can do a slooooooow sidestep and collect and that’ll get me through the remaining bar and to the end of the song.

And then it happens. I still can’t figure out how, but halfway through the sidestep I feel a foot start caressing the inside of my leg. A Committee is rapidly formed in my head to try and make sense of the growing sense of discombobulation. The foot in question would be MsH’s weight bearing foot and so by definition should be firmly on the ground and not halfway up my leg! On the other hand, I do have a friend who does variations of this with me using the embrace, her posture and a truckload of core strength, so it is technically possible.

But it’s MsH! If you’ve danced with her, you’ll know that she simply doesn’t do leg caresses. It’s right up there with dancing on the tables. Actually I think I’d have a better chance of getting her to dance on the tables…. And this isn’t subtle caressing either. It’s lasting quite a long time and is going quite a way up the inside of my leg. Maybe someone’s put something in her drink? [H: ewwwww!] The thing is, it is interpreting the music remarkably well [H: in what sense?] – if she was going to do it, this is what it would be. And it is possible that she simply took a second step to weight change and used dissociation to mask it. [H here: both my feet were in their expected location on the end of my legs, on the ground, thank you very much!]

On the other hand, if it’s not MsH, then as nuts as the idea seems, it has to be someone else. And so in my best Clark Kent voice I asked,

"Is that *your* foot"?
"No." [H: is what my foot?]

Beats me how on earth another woman got her foot in that position, and kept it there without colliding with MsH, not to mention why?! Answers on a postcard, or below in the comments.

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Hedgehog here: my best guess is that this was somehow being achieved by the bozo behind. It's not actually that unusual in London to get gancho'd by another couple, conceivably even slowly; it is unusual at that particular place, because almost everyone who goes there dances sanely, but this man was a visitor and hadn't quite grasped the concept. Anyway, it sounds like one of those nervous-system experiments that uses a table, a mirror and a tickling stick to make you think that your arm belongs to someone else, or theirs is yours, or something. EWW.